Les and I didn’t end up doing our handfasting this Yule as I lost my Grandad, Harry Mills. He was more like my dad than my Grandad, and his passing shook many people.
His work in the community included counselling and rehabilitation, starting a budget advise service, housing so so many families, and always stepping up to help those who needed it. He was good at and loved a great many things including fishing, motorbikes, singing in the Norsewood Choir, bridge, bowls, buying and selling things, learning and discussing new ideas, and acting in the local theatre. He was a visionary. Car-less days in the 70’s he bought a bike shop. He relocated heaps of houses around Central Hawkes Bay. He even owned a leather shop at one point.
He inspired me massively, especially with Apothecary Magicka.
When I fled an abusive relationship in Australia, Grandad helped me pick up the pieces of my life. I stayed with him and we did a pagan ritual in his backyard. He was a very practical and also spiritual person, who lived a rich life and was full of wisdom.
At his memorial gathering, many people spoke of how he enriched their lives and helped them. Even the mongrel mob honoured him (he worked with them with counselling services etc), with a waita and riding past en-masse on their bikes. My brother Eden, sister Cherie and I (and my daughter, as she was feeding at the time) sung an adapted pagan version of amazing grace for him. The final ‘prayer’ was to bowls and sports.
I am so heart broken at his passing. But I’m drawing on his strength, love and wisdom and am looking forwards. I have lots of ideas for the future with him as my inspiration, and I can still hear his advice and wisdom in my mind.
I wanted to honour him with the Imbolc boxes, so I included a howlite necklace. Howlite is a nurturing stone, full of gentle healing energy and a quiet strength. It also strengthens your memory and can assist you in your thirst for knowledge – may you be wise and strong.
Hail Harry, may the ancestors carry you to your rightful place of honour in the Hall of the Halls. You were the strongest person I knew, in so many ways. Right till the end you defied convention in your own way, coming back from death repeatedly until you were ready.
Your entire life was lived by your code of honour, and it was a strong one. In business, in your family, in life, you were the patriarch that many seek to be but cannot grasp. Holding strong to traditions yet also ‘woke’, you were always open hearted, open minded, and fierce in the ways that are worthy. You held family as sacred while honouring the true sense of family, blood ties were trumped by the strength of your love and your moral compass. Even when I was tiny, you understood me. You guided me and helped me flourish, embracing my weirdness and coaxing out the creativity and intellect that you saw as a spark. You helped me in so many ways, so many times. You patiently waited for me to learn the lesson I needed before you stepped back in to guide and support me once again. When my daughter was born the spark in your eyes lit up once again, so strong, you saw in her so much and you cradled her gently with fierce love. Your gentle side was once more so apparent, and she loves you fiercely back. “Grandad”
Hail Harry Mills, grandfather, patriarch, businessman, counsellor, healer, he who always questioned and incorporated new knowledge and ideas – ancestor.
